


When the Stars Fell

by SlySlyth



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, I really like it, OC, Read at Your Own Risk, Self Insert, but hella gay, but it is a self insert, i didnt even try with my name tbh, its hella trash, trash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-09-15 16:35:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9244736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlySlyth/pseuds/SlySlyth
Summary: Just self insert trash. Wanted to post it so I could clear out some of my documents. Read at your own risk. Starts before the 100 fall. Let me know what you think (if you can bear reading it lol).





	1. Prologue/ Chapter 1

_Prologue_

I looked around the trees I had grown up around. The blood that covered my hands had finally dried my hands. I wiped most of it on my shirt, or so I thought. As I went back into the tent I looked at the bodies of those who were supposed to be my family. Those who betrayed me. We were clanless and I hated it. Always on the run, always out to get Heda. If Heda found us she would’ve killed us but not like it mattered anyway, I was good for dead. I looked at the sunken in details of my mother's face and couldn’t find any sympathy within myself to weep for her. This was her fault after all. She chose her bonded over me. She chose the forest over me and I had just reached my limit when he snaked his hand up my shirt in front of her and she did nothing. I leaned forward, enticing him, as i grabbed the dagger from his boot and set to work planting the seeds of wan in his chest. My mother had turned and had tried to pull me off but she had only enraged me and I had decided it was time for the Gods to see her for what she was, a weak coward. I turned around and grabbed whatever food we had left off of the table and stuffed it into a nearby pouch. I was still covered in blood but Heda wouldn’t mind as she killed me and covered me in my own blood anyway. Clanless and a murderer I walked out of my parents tent with my head held high and a stolen sword in hand, stepping towards Polis and closer to my death. 

_Chapter 1_

I was almost to Polis and almost out of bread. I rationed it well for the small trip. My parents liked to stay around Polis just in case they had opportunity with the other clanless to attack and attempt to destroy the coalition that Heda had just started. My father was hesitant to train me with a sword at a young age because he thought I might revolt against them. He did in the end though because I had started to convince the other clanless to train me and it would’ve shown him as weak if he couldn’t even train his own blood. I readjusted the feel of it on my hip and surged forward. The way into Polis was easier than expected. My parents always talked about it as if this was a tough place to get into. It seemed as though you could just walk in. The amount of gonas in the place was staggering. I would not be going out of my way to get into fights. I was just headed for death anyway. The Gods would welcome me home for killing such awful people. I glanced at the stalls of the market as I passed by. Food I’ve never seen before lined the stalls, scrolls and books I couldn’t even read. It amazed me and haunted me at the sametime. I would never get the chance to enjoy these things. My fate was death and I needed to have my arms so she could welcome me into her embrace. I narrowed my eyes and turned my head sharply toward the tower. 

It rose at an angle at the far end of the plaza, the top lit almost as if to look like a candle shining in the sky. Gona’s stood outside of the entrance and I frowned. I needed a way in. I decided to just charge in. Chances were if they caught me I’d be brought to Heda anyway. I dropped my bag and sword, running full force towards the doors. I grabbed the knob of the one closest to me and just as the Gona was about to grab my hand I dodged to my right, slipped through the door and slammed it on his hand. I heard a crunch, a scream, and managed to get the door closed, locking it from the inside. Hopefully they didn’t have a key. 

The tower was huge and it seemed to only go up. I glanced around, aware of the sounds of something coming down and looked down the hall. There was a door and I sort of recognised the gonasleng beside it telling what it was with an image. I ran to the door with the gonasleng as a ding chimed and doors to the right of the entrance slowly opened with a mechanical sort of creak to them. I looked behind me, eyes wide, at a pair of gonas. They wore war paint and didn’t look all that happy to be dealing with me. I turned back around at the stairs in front of me and climbed them as fast as I could, two or three steps at a time. I passed flight after flight of stairs until finally I reached the last flight. I ran out of it and slammed the door behind me, slamming right into Heda. She stumbled back, she tried not to act surprised by almost being trampled by me, a short clanless covered in dried blood but I could tell in the way her lip quirked that I was not the intruder she expected. 

“You managed to get past my gonas?” She stared at me and it was almost as if she was staring through me, the way her warpaint seemed to entice fear from me. The door behind me opened and she glanced behind me, being several inches taller. 

“Leave us.” Her tone almost seemed as though she were insulting them and I fought the urge to smile. I couldn’t show weakness, not when death was so nearby. I decided to wait to speak incase I disrespect her without meaning too. Heda turned, expecting me to follow. I stared at her back for a bit and she turned around, crossing her arms. I held back the urge to roll my eyes and followed her. We went into the metal box and she reached over and hit a red dot along another metal box on the wall. Her hair was so intricately braided I gasped slightly. She quickly turned and looked at me and I turned back to stare at the middle crease of the metal doors. We stood in silence, her gaze never leaving me. It unsettled me and I think she knew that. A ding was heard and the doors opened. I expected us to be at the doors to the tower or the doors to the dungeon where Heda kills the clanless and takes our power (That’s what the clanless all said is what happened.). Heda kept walking down a hallway and then took a right turn. Her arms were behind her back, hands clasped. The only noise were the sounds of her boots hitting the wood flooring. She approached a room that was guarded by two gonas. They opened the door and I followed her in. 

A large table sat in the middle of the room, a door leading outside was behind a giant chair made of antlers. The throne, I realised. She’s taken me to the throne room. I looked around slightly panicked. This was it. She would ask why I’ve come and I then she would kill me for killing my own and being clanless. I felt weak and I hated it so I stood up straighter and looked her in the eye, refusing to look down. 

“Why go through all this trouble?” Heda sat down on her throne, her dagger in her hand. It was meant to look intimidating and show power. That I understood. She was looking me up and down for signs of a clan but I bore no war paint and no indicators of a clan. She knew. I saw her eyes narrow slightly.  
“I killed my blood.” I remained where I stood. Feeling like I should’ve washed the blood off before seeing Heda at least. She feigned boredom but I knew better. I had peeked her interest and she had stopped twirling her dagger against the leather on her knee as she waited for me to continue. 

“I am clanless. I grew up past the waterfall north of here. I killed my blood. They didn’t deserve to live.” I waited for her to say something in response but the doors were opened just as she opened her mouth. 

“Heda, you know not to see the people of the coalition without someone present.” I turned at the feminine voice and was greeted by a gona woman from Trikru. Her warpaint gave her away, it looked almost like Hedas. This woman must have been Heda’s first before the conclave two years ago. 

“Anya, I will speak with you later.” Heda’s eyes never left my face. The green of them examining my every move. 

“Heda.” This Anya woman seemed to warn. Heda looked up quickly and they seemed to be having a quiet conversation. I fidgeted slightly, glancing around at how neat the room seemed to be. It was probably always kept nice. 

“Fine.” Any sighed out. She looked at me and I scoffed at her. She rushed at me, slapping me. 

“Don’t disrespect Heda branwada.” The slap had caused me to almost fall to the floor, nothing I couldn’t handle. I stood back up and Anya’s eyes opened larger in shock. 

“Heda she is a nightblood.” Anya looked over me at Heda on her throne. I heard step from behind me and felt a hand on my shoulder. She gently turned me and wiped at the blood that had started to drip slightly down the mouth. She brought it up to her eyes and then looked at me again, wiping the blood on her shirt. 

“She is to stay in the tower. Tell Titus to arrange the guest room across from mine.” Anya narrowed her eyes but gave in, leaving and shutting the door behind her.

“You said you were clanless?” Heda walked back toward her throne and sat down. 

“Sha Heda.” I didn’t dare wipe at the blood at my mouth. Whatever this nightblood thing was, those I lived with had hated it saying Heda came in the night and stole you from your bed, I was going to try and not anger her about it. 

“Are you trained in fighting?” She leaned forward in her throne, her hands on her knees as she did so. 

“Just what I made my father teach me.” I blinked at her a few times. She hadn’t killed me yet. What was going on? She should’ve taken my head by now. I told her I killed my own blood. 

“For the killing of your blood, 20 lashes. I would normally kill you for breaking into my tower but I have never seen my gona’s that distraught before. It was quite the show.” She stood from her throne and in three quick strides was standing in front of me. 

“You are safe here.” Heda looked concerned and that only confused me more. She seemed to know that as next she said, “No one will touch you here.” I narrowed my eyes and stepped back. Had my actions betrayed me? I thought I had appeared strong.

“Come, I’ll take you to your room...” She paused waiting for my name. 

“Rowan.” I answered softly.

“Rowan.” She almost seemed to say it kindly, unlike her feigned boredom before. “You may call me Lexa when we are alone.” 

“Sha He- Lexa.” I quickly corrected, not wanting to make her angry. We went back into the metal box and she took us to the floor where I almost knocked her down. She pointed to a set of doors on the right. 

“That is my room. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to knock.” She pointed to a set of doors to the left. “That is your room. I’ll have Liza bring you up some food and some new clothes. We will talk more tomorrow after you’ve rested. I had your pouch and sword brought up from where I watched you drop it.” My face reddened at her admission. She had watched me. She knew how I had gotten into the tower. Her surprise must have been at my speed. 

“Sha Lexa.” I waited for her to finish so I could go into the room she had deemed as mine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like trash for posting this. Hella judging myself omg.

_Chapter 2_

I woke slowly in on the floor. I had tried the mattress but it had been too soft and I didn’t want my back to become weak on account of it. I unwrapped myself in the blankets and shuffled my way to the bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror. They had drawn me a bath last night so I could finally wash the blood off of myself. My hair hung around my shoulders and I scowled at it. The brown curls reminding me that I hated how unruly it could be. I grabbed the twine off of the bathroom counter and braided it up. Anything so I could pretend it wasn’t there. I scowled once again at my reflection and headed back into the bed area of the room. I looked at the pile of clothes that the guard had set down on a chair by a small table across the bed. I sighed and slipped them on. The shirt was a little baggy but they hadn’t taken my other clothes yet. I grabbed my old grey shirt and ripped a long strip off of it, tying it around my waist to somewhat hold the baggy short sleeve in place. I looked at me old pants and cocked my head to the side in thought. 

Soon enough I had ripped it apart and had the part that hugged my legs, hugging my arms instead. They were also held in place by two pieces of my shirt on the top of the pieces by the wrist and the bottoms by my shoulders. I looked at the pants on the chair and sighed. I wonder what Heda would want in return for this kindness. She didn’t owe me anything. After all, I was a murderer. I slipped the pants on and found they were actually the right size. I looked at my sword as it leaned against the wall beside the chair and decided to grab it, slinging it over my shoulder and having the hilt on my right side in case I would need it. I went to the door and put my boots on, zipping and buckling them up. It was quite the task but at least I had one thing I liked from my life before Polis. 

I sighed and shook out my nerves. There was no need to be so nervous. I had already survived night one. I opened the door and the two guards that were in front of my door turned down slightly to look at me. I gave them no mind as I walked across the hallway. I knocked on Lexa’s door three times and waited. It was slowly opened and I walked through. 

Lexa’s room was lined with candles. I would need to be careful where I put my arms or I would become a candle accidentally. The grate over the windows gave an intricate design to the rest of the room as the sun shone through. Lexa sat on a couch in front of a fire place. She was reading a book. I couldn’t quite see it at the angle she was holding it at but it looked like gonasleng. I frowned slightly. Wasn’t it looked down upon to read something from before the bombs? 

“Take a seat.” A voice from over by the bed called. I looked over and saw another woman looking through some papers. Her eyes were the color of milk chocolate edged with a deep forest-green. Sometimes the two colors seemed to swirl together like moss creeping over rich soil. I felt my cheeks redden slightly at her attention and promptly took a seat in one of the two chairs across from where Lexa was reading. Finally she marked the page she was on and set the book down beside her. 

“Costia be gentle with her.” Lexa slightly warned. She had glanced over by the bed and rolled her eyes, a slight smile on her lips, when she heard a scoff. 

“Rowan, we had important things to discuss. Here, I am just Lexa and not Heda. You don’t need to fear me. I want to explain somethings to you, answer your questions. Then you can go around polis or go back to your bed chambers. Whatever you want to do.” I nodded and readjusted the sword on my back. The sheath felt weird against my back and the back of the chair. 

“Have you ever heard of the natblida?” Lexa studied my face, looking for any sign of recognition. I gave in and nodded yes. 

“You have no bed to steal me from now.” I stared at her, refusing to let any emotions come over my face. I couldn’t be seen as weak. 

“Gods, is that what the clanless think of you hodnes?” Costia piped up from the bed. 

“I’ve heard this before, yes.” Lexa responded. She turned her attention back on me and I felt myself shrink under her gaze. Her eyes hardened for a moment while she thought and then softened when she went to speak. 

“The nightbloods are the ones who will take up the flame when I am killed. I do not steal children from their beds. I take them to train them and protect until it is time for the conclave. So that whoever wins and takes the flame next will be worthy of the title of Heda.” Lexa paused, watching me fidget slightly. 

“You are a nightblood Rowan. You could become the next Heda in the conclave but you have no kru. You have no home. I would like for you to consider each clan and what they offer. Learn about them, decide if you wish to remain clanless. However, should the next conclave happen and you are not within a kru, I can only do so much to protect you from the next Heda.” I nodded in response. Maybe I would give it thought. Maybe the clans weren’t as bad as they made them out to be. Heda certainly wasn’t as bad as my father had made her out to be. All he seemed to be good at was lying and controlling. 

“Do you know when your name day was?” Costia got up from the bed, her wavy chocolate brown hair gliding down her shoulders and stopping just short of the bottom of her ribs. 

“Two days after winter solstice.” I looked down in shame. The first sign of weakness yet. I immediately put my head back up. 

“That is nothing to be upset about. If you wish for us not to celebrate it, then we won’t.” Costia sat beside Lexa. I noticed the looks they shared. Gods, I hope they aren’t pitying me. How ridiculous would that be. 

“I would like for you to train with either Anya, Costia, or myself starting tomorrow. We’ll start with basic hand to hand combat and move up from there.” Lexa stood and so I stood with her. No need to make her angry when she was being so generous. 

“Sha.” I whispered. I opened the door to her bedroom and glanced at the guards. They seemed not to notice me as I went down the stairs and out onto the streets of Polis for only the second time in the 14 winters I had been alive.


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

Anya looked at me on the training ground. We had been there for a few hours and I wasn’t letting up. It had been a few months since I had came to die and instead was given the chance to start over. ! Anya had a bloody lip from where I had used her weight against her and thrown her onto the ground. She had gotten up quickly and put her hands back up in a fighting stance. I watched as she started to walk with her right leg. She was going to favor her right hand. She stepped forward with a twisting punch, which I took to the side so that I could into her defenses and punch her in the face. My fist connected with the side of her jaw and she crumpled to the ground unconscious. I had found that spot that triggers that within the brain of people. I bent down and straightened her out so that when she came too her muscles wouldn’t be cramped from laying in a weird position.! I stood and straightened my tank top. Anya finally opened her eyes and I extended a hand, helping her up. 

“You’ve learned a lot.” Anya smiled at me. We had grown close, training almost everyday. If it wasn’t her in the training ground, it was Lexa. Costia fought me once and lost and had refused to train with me since, insisting she teach me gonasleng instead. 

“Thank you.” I stumbled on the strangeness of gonasleng and frowned a little at the awkwardness of it. Anya stifled a laugh as her attention snapped to something behind me. 

“Heda.” Any bowed her head in respect. I never did and only had been punished for it once with 20 lashes so Lexa could show she was still in charge. 

“You’ve been training well Rowan.” I could see the pride in her gaze even if she was trying her best to hide it. “Costia says your gonasleng improves everyday and she thinks in a week or so you’ll be able to practice writing.” Heda started to walk out of the training grounds, indicating she wanted me to follow. I rolled my eyes and did as instructed. 

“Don’t roll your eyes at me.” Lexa mumbled. Her voice was softer and her posture had changed slightly, letting me see the trikru gona under the heda title. Just as it was there, it was gone. 

“Sha, Heda.” I nodded slightly, mimicking her stance by putting my hands behind my back. Her red sash swayed in the wind as she looked at her people bustling by in the busy morning. 

“Have taken any thought into a clan? It has been four months since you came to me.” I looked around nervously. I had actually chosen a clan a month ago and had been too nervous to ask with the impending treaty with sankru that would make them an official part of Lexa growing coalition amongst the clans.

“I have Heda.” I nodded when she looked at me, her eyebrow up curiously. 

“And what have you decided?” She listened to me intently. 

“Trikru.” I stated. I knew what it involved to become Trikru. I would have to go out into the forest, kill a tribute and bring it back for Heda to approve of my skill as a hunter. To be in a clan I need to be able to contribute. Then I would go into battle with a person better skilled than myself to prove I have the strength to survive and keep going, no matter what. 

“So it will be done.” Heda turned to me and put a hand on my shoulder. Those nearby stopped and watched this public display. “You have chosen well and I wish you luck during your trials.” Heda retracted her hand and headed back towards the market place to check in on how her people were doing. 

I rubbed the back of my neck, having cut off my hair almost the second training started. I decided I would keep short from then on. Nothing for anyone to grab during combat and try and drag me with. The only downside was I couldn’t have cool braids but I would substitute it with tattoos once I was accepted into trikru. I clicked my tongue and turned back to Anya.

“You ready to get beat again?” I teased. Anya rolled her eyes. 

“Let’s go for a run Rowan.” Anya instructed. I nodded and took off. Anya was going to have a hard time keeping up with me today.


	4. Chapter 4

I looked around at the various tents. We were finally outside Ton DC after the 4 day journey. Heda approached my side. Her warpaint making her look dangerous in the glow of the morning sun. The red sash blew out behind her in the wind, marking who she was. 

“It is time.” She nodded at me and Indra walked up beside her. She was holding my bow and some arrows and a dagger. “You have 3 days to prove yourself to not only Trikru but to me, your commander.” 

I nodded in response and took my weapons from Indra’s outstretched hands. I extended an arm and she took it, grasping me forearm in a warriors shake of respect. I looked past her at Lexa and gave Lexa a small smile before letting go of Indra’s arm and heading behind the camp into the woods. 

I started walking with no direction in mind, looking for signs of smaller prey. I could kill a smaller animal to bait a bigger predator with. Slowly walking through the forest I paused, listening for signs of any animals. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes like Anya had taught me. I heard a leaf crunch to my right. It sounded far away but not far enough away where there was no point in chasing after it. If I had to guess what it was I would say it was a deer. I opened my eyes and swiftly and quietly headed in that direction. In between all the trees I saw it. The caramel-colored animal was eating at the grass by its hooves. It’s tail flipping occasionally to show irritation as it remained on the alert for predators. 

I took an arrow out and knocked it back, keeping my aim steady, I released the arrow. It hit the deer and startled it into a run. I quickly chased after it following the trail of blood it left behind. I chased it down into a small clearing surrounded by trees and overgrowth. The deer paths that crossed in this area made me think it was an area frequently traveled. I put it into my mind so if I was ever around here again I would know where to hunt. I walked up the deer that was now panting as it laid on the ground, losing its fight.

“Yu gonplei ste odon.” I nodded at the deer in thanks as I took an arrow and slit it’s throat. Once the deer passed I picked it up. I needed to get somewhere where I could rig it up into a trap to tempt bigger pray. I wandered back into the forest and continued in the direction I was going before. I found a circle of trees and decided this would do. I had seen indications that bigger animals were nearby. Their trails and scat were all I had been finding in this area. I took the dagger out from the sheath on my hip and set to work cutting branches down from the trees around me. I wanted to rig it so that when the bigger prey went to take the deer, spears would rise from the floor of the forest and kill it. Hopefully this would work. I was covered in deer blood but tried not to focus on it as I worked. It was starting to get dark when I was almost done with the trap. I just had a few more things to add before I could lay the deer in the proper spot. An ear splitting howl was heard straight ahead of me. 

“Fuk.” I spit on the ground beside me as I arranged the deer. I looked at a tree that would give me the best vantage point and climbed up it, settling on a branch. I sat there for a while, the stars above filling me with hope as I waited. I could feel the sweat mixed with deer blood running down my face. I ignored it and had my bow relaxed, an arrow set against the string as I waited. I felt myself drifting into a sleep and kept shaking my head to stay awake. I needed to stay up. 

The sound of the trap snapping startled me. I quickly looked at it and drew an arrow. The sun was just peeking through the leaves and I could make out the image of a wolf trapped in the contraption I made. Two of the spears having met their mark. I sent an arrow flying, killing it, and climbed down from my spot in the tree. It was then I heard the howls. I stood up quickly, knocking another arrow. I waited, back against the dead wolf. 

I could hear my heartbeat as I stood, the waiting endless. One wolf started out from my right. I let my arrow fly, hitting it in the back. I quickly had another arrow flying and it landed in its throat. The wolf tumbled in front of me as I turned to my left a Wolf attached to my left forearm. It’s gleaming teeth drawing red from my arm. I shouted out in pain, the fireworks exploding in my arm as I drew my dagger with my right arm and sent it into the closest part of the wolf I could. The wolf let go of my arm, the spot where my dagger stuck out causing red to drip down its smoky colored coat. I grabbed an arrow from my quiver and we stared each other down. I spit beside me and that’s when the wolf decided to try for my throat. I moved barely and his teeth swiped my face instead, causing blood to drop down into my eye. I grabbed it’s neck and sent the dagger as far into it as I could. I let go and the wolf dropped to the floor, my arrow sticking out of its neck.

I looked at all three wolves and the deer. I would leave the deer. It’s meat was spoiled now. I needed to find a way to get the wolves back. No one would help if I went back. I looked at my trap and started taking it apart, taking the spears out of the first wolf killed. As I started to move my left arm, pain shot up. I looked at it and blood was coming down my arm. I frowned, feeling slightly faint looking at it. I took my dagger and cut off a piece of my shirt. I tied it as tight as I could around my arm. That would hold it until I got back. The blood on my face had since dried and so I tried to forget it was there. 

I ripped more off of my clothes and used it to tie the sticks together. It was just long enough to fit the wolves. I nodded at my work and set to making my way back to Heda. I was weaving in and out of the trees, the added weight on my left arm finally forcing tears to mix with the blood on my face. I started to hum a beat and walk to it. If I focused on something else I could make it. I made another two hours before I collapsed on the forest floor. I stared up at the sky and watched the clouds pass by. 

I woke with a start, sweat beading my forehead, I slowly stood. I gripped a tree beside me and got steady. It was almost dark out but I knew I was almost back to the camp. I wiped my face on my right sleeve and picked up the end of the sticks. Dragging these wolves had been the hardest part of this yet. I slowly made my way back to the camp. I could a small light in the distance and smiled. Seeing the light made me pick up the pace just that much more.

“Rowan?” The familiar voice called out. 

“Sha.” I called out as loud as I could. I needed to get the sacrifice to Heda to the middle of camp. If accepted we would then travel the two days to Ton DC so I could finish the test and fight Linkon kom Trikru. Then I would be Trikru. Then I would belong. 

I continued dragging the wolves. People gathered between me and Heda’s tent, the campfires the only thing illuminating everyone. Finally I reached Heda’s tent. I stood and stayed, my eyes closing out of exhaustion. 

Heda clasped a hand on my shoulder, my eyes quickly opening. I shook my head in an effort to shake the sleep away. I didn’t even hear her leave her tent.

“You did well. How did you get three wolves? We send three gonas to deal with wolf packs.” Heda looked at the three sacrifices to her before looking at a gona and nodding. The gona proceeded to pick up the wolves and move them to a separate location to cook.

“I set a trap using a deer I had hunted.” I explain. 

“You were bit?” Heda looks me up and down. 

“Nothing I couldn’t handle.” 

“I accept your tribute. We feast tonight and leave for TonDC in the morning. Once we arrive you will fight Linkon kom Trikru. I shall fetch the fisa for you.” Heda placed her hand on shoulder, nodded once more and left to fetch the fisa.


End file.
